Angry Pixie

Angry pixies get their fairy dust EVERYWHERE!

I can’t stand yelling.  My middle daughter, who’s 7, has perfected this whiny cry that is at the proper pitch to make my ears bleed.  It’s not even a human cry.  It sounds like someone is abusing a baby pig.  For as totally consumed as my daughter is with looking cool (you should see how she acts when I try to kiss her goodbye when I drop her off at school.  She comes up with her arms crossed in front of her chest, between us, and may allow me to hug her, but she will not look at me.  One day, she pissed me off so bad that I grabbed her in a bear hug and kissed her her repeatedly, making loud kissy noises the whole time.  I said ‘mwa, mwa, mwa”.  Haha! It was so funny.  Then that little shit punched me!), one would think that she would be too cool to have a temper tantrum.  But she’ll start the whine, and fold her arms, and stomp her feet, and cry. Her face gets all red.  She is the only one of my children that looks anything like me.  She has my fair skin and freckles, my light eyes; she has my vaguely Scottish-Irish looks.  But my daughter looks even more Irish than me.  So when she throws her temper tantrum all I can think of, other than the fact that I will go to jail if I strangle her, is that she looks like a petulant leprechaun.  I’m going to make her wear a little green outfit next time she does this and film it.  Then I’m posting it on youtube, right before my daughter’s taken away because somehow this will be seen as some sort of child abuse.  Hey, at least I can have a laugh out of it.

Seriously though, I work all day and then I come home and work some more and I have to hear that crap.  WTF!?! Today, it started the minute I picked her up from daycare.  I had the privilege of hearing her bitch the entire car ride home.  It was pouring rain, everyone was driving like an idiot, and I get to hear this ear drum perforating complaining because she doesn’t want to spend the day at daycare tomorrow.  She doesn’t have school tomorrow; the school’s are closed for election day.  So, instead of getting dropped off at daycare, driven to school, then picked up and taken back to daycare my daughter will spend the whole day at daycare.  She normally likes daycare.  However, she insists that none of her friends will be there tomorrow.  Where are they going?  Not that many parents are staying home with their kids.   It’s just not happening.   But because she believes that all the other kids get to spend the day at home, I have spent the last 2.5 hours listening to her throw a massive temper tantrum complete with slamming doors.  I swear I’m sticking my head in the oven.  I don’t care that it’s electric.  If I sit there long enough, something is going to happen! And I won’t have to listen to that angry little pixie any more (at least for tonight).  I swear, when she’s in full tantrum, I just remember this old Rumplestiltskin cartoon where he spins around in a circle all angry after the queen (princess?) guesses his name correctly.  Or when Mab from that  mini-series ‘Merlin’ has her temper tantrums.  Actually, the Mab visual works really well (if you haven’t seen that mini-series, you should go see it.  I don’t like the actor who played Merlin, but the movie is still good.  And they really reined in Martin Short and he was very good. When left to his own devices, he can just go too far out their and it’s distracting and not at all entertaining). It would be funny if it weren’t so damn loud and annoying.

Man, I should have just stuck with owning cats.