It was a perfect day for an outdoor music fest. It was sunny and in the low 80s.
I took my 7 year old (Thing 2), my 14 year old (Thing 1), and 3 extra kids. Thing 2 spent the day with my husband and I while Thing 1 and friends ditched us as soon as they could (fine by me, much less expensive and hormonal).
The first band I got to see was Anti-Flag. They were on the main stage. They were really good. I don’t know their music (even though they’ve been around for a long time) but they were energetic and fun and I will definitely be checking out some of their CDs.
line up board
Then I shopped for a while. I had to get my husband and Thing 2 Vans shirts. I always buy the Vans Warped shirts instead of the Warped concert shirts (the one’s with the dates on the backs). The shirt I got myself is so nice, it’s got this great v-neck and the Vans name is so stylized that it just looks like the pattern in the shirt. It’s super flattering (I’ve gone to so many concerts this year that don’t have nice shirts. It’s so disappointing). Also, this year, instead of canvas tote bags, they had these nice cotton (?) purses. I finally found my summer purse (hey, summer weather just started in Cleveland so maybe it’s fitting that I just found my summer purse).
One of the really neat things about the Warped Tour is all the stickers and silly crap that is given away. It’s especially cool for the kids. Thing 1 got a bunch of posters that she’s going to use to decorate the locker room where she works. And both kids have tons of stuff to hang in their rooms. Plus, it’s cool to be able to get a CDs for $5. Thing 1, bought 2 or 3 CDs while we were standing in line to get in! I picked up a few too.
The next band I saw was The Maine. It was so hard to choose between The Maine and Less Than Jake. In the end it came down to the fact that I was down by the Hurley Stage when The Maine came on and Less the Jake was on the main stage which was all the way at the other end.
The Maine
They were really good. I loved their cover of Pour Some Sugar on Me. It was funny because I had just seen Def Leppard do it live 2 weeks before. It’s also funny that most of the kids in the audience didn’t really know the song.
They closed with Girls Do What They Want. It was fun. Thing 2 liked it. She tends to like the more pop sounding bands (she’s 7, it’s good).
Millionaires
I wanted to see Meg & Dia, but I had written the time down wrong, and I ended up seeing the Millionaires’ set instead. They were upbeat and skanky. Good party music. I don’t think they’d be half as enjoyable without seeing them dance (um, it was actually a bit more like prance and jump, there really was no organized movement) because their voices are a bit grating. Although, hearing someone who could honestly sing do their music probably wouldn’t work anyway (someone who could honestly sing probably wouldn’t do their music).
We went back to the main stage to watch Bad Religion. They were great. I have known their name forever, but before the show I was trying to refresh my memory about who they are and what songs they have. So I went to Amazon and I was playing some of the clips and nothing sounded familiar (or good). But when I saw them play the stuff sounded great and I recognized some of them.
Bad Religion
I had planned on checking out A Rocket to the Moon. But I never made it over there (Smart Punk stage) and stuck around the main stage to catch The Devil Wears Prada. They are just awful. The devil must also wear earplugs. The one thing my husband said (that wasn’t negative) was that they were loud. I guess that’s one way to stand out, if you can’t be good, be loud, then maybe no one will notice how bad you are. Hey, wasn’t that on an episode of Spongebob? Isn’t that when Squidward lies and says he has a marching band and he’s got to train all the Bikini Bottom residents in just a few days? And they are terrible so he thinks if they all just play really loud that it’ll be ok. Yeah, it didn’t work for Squidward either. Maybe the guys from the band didn’t finish watching the episode. Somebody should send them the DVD.
The Devil Wears Prada (or as just started liking to call them, untalented poseurs)
Attack Attack
I had heard some good things about Attack Attack, and since they were on the Skull Candy stage (which was right next to the main stage) we walked over to check them out. My husband summed it up pretty well when he called them understudies for The Devil Wears Prada.
I don’t mind screaming. I can scream with the best of them. But to scream because you have no musical talent is something else. Screaming has it’s place in heavy music. It always will, but it should be one vocal technique among many, not the only thing that the “singer” is capable of. That’s not a singer, that’s a hack.
Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Next, I saw a bit of Dear and the Headlights. I enjoyed what I saw, I need to pick up a CD. I didn’t stay long though because I was off to see Scary Kids Scaring Kids (see, I said that I don’t mind screaming).
Scary Kids were good. The keyboardist is unintentionally hilarious. I’m not sure that he’s necessary to the music but he’s so funny to watch, all the preening and posing, they need to keep him for the comic relief.
I was able to be really close to the stage for this band because I didn’t have Thing 2. So, while I was watching someone tried to pass some giant, fat, sweaty guy. FUCK THAT! I moved. And they guy passing this other guy was telling me “no, no, no” that I shouldn’t move. Again, FUCK THAT! I stepped out of the way. Let him fall. I don’t care. There needs to be a weight limit and hygiene standards for anyone who wants to crowd surf. And this guy was certainly over the weight limit and out of compliance for the hygiene standards. Those guys who stand at the front of the stage and have to grab these nasty crowd surfers have the worst jobs in the world. I don’t mind getting jostled around a bit. I expect that it will happen at certain shows. And I can handle it. I’m not big but, as my husband says, I’m scrappy. But you can’t make me touch some smelly fat guy.
About 50% of the people at Warped needed to be hosed down and sprayed with deodorant. And I swear people were just openly farting while watching these bands. If you want to funk up your own place, have at it, but when you’re out in public you need to bathe, wear antiperspirant and either spring for some Bean-o or hold that in, you stinky bastards.
3OH!3
My husband went and saw 3OH!3 with Thing 2 (Thing 1 also went to see them). He really would have rather seen Scary Kids with me but he’s so sweet that he let me see the better band. I like some of 3oh!3’s music, but they’re major poseurs. And I especially think so after hearing what Thing 1 had to say about “meeting” them during their signing. She said that the band wouldn’t speak to anyone, no one was allowed to take pictures. They were just generally unapproachable. You’re not stars yet guys. Don’t get all full of yourselves.
Big D and the Kids' Table
Before I met back up with my hubby and Thing 2 (the 7 year old) I stopped off to see some of Big D and the Kids’ Table. I like their music but the singer has the worst banter. His banter is as bad as Tom DeLonge (Blink 182, Angels and Airwaves). Someone needs to tell the guy. Someone needs to tell both guys, “You’re not smart, you’re not clever, just shut up and sing.” I loved the back up singers. They were adorable. And I loved the horn section. Very nice. The lyrics are juvenile but fun. Pure summer party music. I can picture this music as great beach volleyball accompaniment. A few beers and some grilled burgers. Perfect.
My husband met up with me while I was watching Big D and we walked back to the Hurley stage to watch Bayside. That was another hard decision because I really wanted to check out Chiodos too. But I figured Thing 2 would enjoy Bayside more than Chiodos, and really, the Warped Tour is now kind of a family thing for us (I can’t wait until the Monkey King is old enough to join us. He’s too nutty still, maybe in 2 years).
Bayside
Bayside were good. I think that Thing 2 enjoyed them too, but she did seek out some shaded ground to sit on (we started our day there at 10:30, so she was getting worn out) and she spent some time eating the rest of the snacks I’d brought with us.
Jet Lag Gemini
At some point during the day, we walked by and heard a few songs from Jet Lag Gemini. I think Thing 1 and Thing 2 would enjoy them, I’ll have to get a CD. They’re pop-y and easy to listen to. The stage listings say that they were to play at 4:35 but I’m pretty positive that I saw them on the way to see The Maine. I know for sure that I saw them before Scary Kids because of the picture numbers assigned by my phone (some of these pictures were taken on my phone and some with our real camera. You can tell the difference because 1) the camera has an 18x zoom so they’re really good close ups, 2) the camera is a camera! my phone is 3 megapixels and the camera is 8.1 megapixels, 3) my hubby took the camera photos so they’re actually centered and steady and I took the phone pictures so they suck) are lower numbers for the Jet Lag Gemini pics than those assigned to the pictures of Scary Kids so the pics of Jet Lag Gemini were taken before those of Scary Kids.
Paramore
Anyway, after Bayside we walked back to the main stage to see the “Special Guest”. Which everyone knew was Paramore. It was all over Twitter a day or two before the show. We got relatively close to the stage for this band. We’d seen them less than 2 weeks before at Blossom, and I was excited to see them again. But it ended up being too rambunctious for Thing 2. Even my hubby was pissed because people were chucking drinks and stuff. There was a crowd surfer who was handed to me and I helped him to the ground because he was getting too close to Thing 2. I can handle myself, but Thing 2 is tiny. And if anyone hurt her I’d get arrested, because my fierce mommy instincts take over. Actually, later on that day some stupid little prick stomped on a water bottle and splashed Thing 2 so I stalked over and started yelling at him and his douche bag friends. The three friends booked and he shit his pants! I didn’t even hestitate to confront them. I didn’t think about it. Someone had been mean to my child, and I turned into the protector. I was very close to making the little shit apologize. We ended up walking around just outside of the main stage area and listening to Paramore while we bought and ate dinner. They sounded great. Thing 1 said it was insane inside. Endless crowd surfing, even one of her friends ended up feeling too overwhelmed with all the crowd surfers and pushing. It was much different watching them at Blossom.
I had wanted to check out Gallows but they were on at the same time as Paramore and they were over at the opposite end of the place. We got to hear a little bit of Shad while we were walking around eating dinner because he was on the next stage.
Saosin
We walked back to the Hurley stage to watch Saosin. I really enjoyed their set. Thing 2 was really not enjoying their set. The Maine is really more her speed. But she got to sit on the ground and rest for a bit so I think she was good. Really she did much better this year. Last year we spent a lot of time carrying her. It was also around 100 degrees which is obnoxiously hot even when you’re not walking around on asphalt. It was so uncomfortable. This year we didn’t have to carry her at all. But we had to make sure she was able to sit from time to time. She was very smart and wore a hat and a good shirt that covered most of her arms. She’s very sensible.
Madina Lake
We saw a little bit of Madina Lake at some point while we were walking around. I think on the way to see Paramore. They were incredibly energetic. I loved what I saw. Thing 2 was much more interested in the giant ballons they had bopping around in the crowd. She spent her whole time watching them and was absolutely thrilled that she got a hit in on one.
It was at this point that we confirmed that 95% of all the musicians on the tour were midgets. Munchkins. Leprechauns (the two blonde guys from Madina Lake were definitely leprechauns. Just look at the picture. I should have grabbed the singer while he was crowd surfing and made him give me his pot of gold). There must be some weight limit for the smaller stages. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the stages are so portable (geez, the ernie ball stage has a license plate on it!). They’re less sturdy so normal-size people aren’t able to perform on them; they’re weight limit restricts all but the “wee folk”.
After Saosin we walked by and saw After Midnight Project (whose name I will forever mess up). And they were playing a song I’ve heard enough to know some lyrics. I don’t know how I know the song. I don’t know if it was a cover, but I started singing lyrics (and they seemed to be correct). I’ll have to look into their music and figure out what song it was.
After Midnight Project
NOFX
Next we saw the end of NOFX while we were waiting for Flogging Molly. They were ok. I have some of their albums. It’s good background music.
The highlight of my day was Flogging Molly. I love Flogging Molly. Dave King is insane. I still can’t believe he’s the same Dave King that was in Fastway with Jerry Shirley and the guy-from-Motorhead-who’s-not-Lemmy. It’s really cool to see how diverse a Flogging Molly crowd is. There are way older people and then there are young teens. And so many of them can sing the songs! I love it. I’m so lucky that I’ve gotten to see them live twice this year. They are so energetic and fun. Tom DeLonge and the guy from Big D and the Kids’ Table should beg Dave King to teach them how to banter. He’s great and funny. It’s sweet to hear him refer to his wife as his soul mate. And it was hilarious to hear him rip on Fat Mike from NOFX and mock the crowd (he asked how many in the audience were Irish and when far too many cheered in response his quip was “I’d like to see those DNA tests”). It’s all done with such good humor that it’s totally inoffensive. I can’t wait until they come around again. They didn’t play Cleveland last year for the Warped Tour, although they did join the tour for some of the dates. I hope they come to Cleveland on the tour next year.
Flogging Molly
Flogging Molly had great concert tees at the show too. My Flogging Molly tee is the only band tee I purchased that day. My hubby got 3 shirts from the show in February (I got one) so instead of a tee, he bought a flag. My new Flogging Molly shirt is this nice fitted gray and white stripped tee that says Flogging Molly across the right side. If you don’t know that Flogging Molly was the name of a band, you would never know that it was a concert tee. I wore it to work Friday. Thing 2 liked them enough that she spent all her money ($20) on a Flogging Molly shirt! Smart girl.
The last band I wanted to see for the day was A Skylit Drive. I like that song about hunting the person down and killing them. I can’t remember the name of it. It has the line about “the movement in her hips marks the hour when the poison sets in”. I think I really surprised Thing 1’s friends (who had joined us to watch this band) when I started singing along to that song!
Black Tide
But before we saw them, we watched the end of Black Tide, who were performing on the stage next to A Skylit Drive. They were ok. Loud, heavy.
A Skylit Drive was good. But everyone was tired. There were people just lying on the ground (remember it’s asphalt, you have to be pretty damn tired to purposely lay down on asphalt) to watch them play. I enjoyed it, but I have to admit, we cut out early and didn’t watch their whole set. Thing 2 had been tired for hours and I was pretty spent too.
A Skylit Drive
I actually was a bit disappointed this year. The crowds were especially hostile. Aside from moving out of the way of overweight crowd surfers and yelling at people splashing water, I yelled at some prissy little girl for pushing. I was walking through a crowd and she was right on my back pushing. After about 30 seconds of this, I stopped, looked her in the eye (I had to look up at her) and told her that I would push her back. Funny thing, she followed me for another minute through the crowd but never needed to touch me again. I think last year was better because it was too hot for anyone to be too big of an asshole. They just didn’t have the energy.
For all you kids attending Warped:
I know it’s the first time that a lot of you have ever gotten to spend the day unsupervised. But just because you are on your own doesn’t mean that you can act however you want. Even at concerts, there is a certain level of courtesy you should show to your fellow concert goers. So maybe mommy and daddy bought your ticket, but most of the rest of us paid for our own. So don’t mess up our good time because you want to act like a punk.
Yes, you can push and shove in the pit. No, you can’t do that anywhere else unless you want me in your face. This isn’t tv, there are consequences. And, no matter how tough you want to act, not a single one of you punks stood up to me when I confronted you. So don’t make me. It’s awfully embarrassing to have some short little 30 something woman scold you for your shitty behavior in front of your friends. And you don’t have to take my word for it, just ask Thing 1.
Now that that’s out of the way, Warped was great. Thing 1 and her friends spent the car ride home talking about what they’re going to do for next year’s show. I came home tired and dirty and sunburned and sweaty and happy and with tons of momentos. I can’t wait for next year!
Warped Tour Booty
dirty, post-concert feet & check out the classy flip flop tan line
great tan lines - my backpack straps kept rubbing off my sunscreen so I ended up with really strange sunburn lines on my back
Today (tonight) is Tanabata.
I confess that I don’t know much about the holiday. I know I’m overly simpifying (or just plain wrong) but it’s a Japanese star festival. I would assume it’s something like Midsummer with bonfires and such. I know that there’s some tragic love story that goes along with it too.
One thing I do know is that it is customary to visit shrines. And often visitors write prayers or wishes on the scrolls and hang them at the shrine (it’s also common to hang the scrolls on trees).
Right now I’m at one of my daughter’s softball games, so I have no scrolls. Instead, I’ll write my prayer here.
I pray for:
- peace – peace of mind
- strength – strength to do what’s right
- and courage – courage to be myself, courage to do all those things I need to do
So, they’re selfish. But I take care of everyone else, sometimes I have to remember to take care of myself.
I was so proud of myself last night when I was packing today’s lunch. I used up my aging grape tomatoes by slicing them up and adding fresh cilantro (from our herb pot), an avocado, a little mirin, and a dash of freshly squeezed orange juice (I’m serious, I squeezed it myself). Oh, and a pinch of kosher salt (I know, salt is not good, but I need just a pinch with tomatoes).
It was lovely and refreshing and now I want a cheeseburger. And I only have an apple as an afternoon snack.
But I won’t, mostly because I’m too lazy to get up and drive over and get one.
And because I’m looking through this damn fashion magazine and seeing the new trends which are definitely not for women built like me (or actually, any woman who still relies on eating for nourishment).
I swear, who invented the maxi dress? These are only for elementary school teachers and giants. There is no way for a normal woman to wear a maxi dress without looking totally stumpy.
Genie pants? Seriously? I remember those knit MC Hammer pants from when I was a freshman. I had a powder blue pair. And every time I wore them, I got pantsed! I’m so glad that I wore cute little bikini panties. I will never wear those again, and not just because I’d have to do a panty check every time I left the house (no one needs to see my pasty butt in my little lace thong), but because they’d make my hips look as wide as the back of a truck.
And rompers? Really? When the outfit makes the model look 6 months pregnant, what chance does a normally proportioned woman have?
As Nancy Reagan used to say “Just Say NO”!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
3 more days. I can’t wait. This is almost as exciting as Christmas (TANGENT ALERT *except that my favorite part of Christmas is giving presents to the people I love – I work really hard to find things that will surprise and please people, so I get all nervous about giving my presents, then I can relax after everyone’s opened their gifts*)!
Which bands am I going to get to see? There are so many good bands. It’s really going to be hard to choose. I want to see almost all of them!
3OH!3, A Rocket To The Moon, A Skylit Drive, Aiden, Anti-Flag, Attack Attack, Bad Religion, Bayside, Big D and the Kids Table, Chelsea Automatic, Chiodos, Dance Gavin Dance, Dear And The Headlights, Down With Webster, Fake Problems, Flogging Molly, Hit The Lights, ivy league, Kelsey And The Chaos, Less Than Jake, Madina Lake, Meg and Dia, NOFX, Saosin, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Sing It Loud, The Devil Wears Prada, The Maine, The White Tie Affair
I’d actually love to see every band, not just the one’s I’ve listed. Unfortunately, I know I’ll have to pick and chose which of the listed one’s I’ll be able to see.
I definitely can’t miss Flogging Molly. I mean, that was one of my husband’s Christmas presents, tickets to see Flogging Molly at the House of Blues. I, I mean Santa even paid for reserved seats. They were amazing live.
And Bad Religion and Anti-Flag have been around forever, it would be strange not to check them out. NOFX has been around for eternity too, I’d like to see them, but I’d opt for a newer band over them because I’ve heard they’re a bit spotty.
There are some bands that I’m really disappointed aren’t on the Cleveland line up. Every Avenue, We the Kings, Bouncing Souls (they were so good last year), Forever the Sickest Kids.
And there are some bands that I saw last year that have moved on, like Family Force Five and Norma Jean. Family Force Five was amazing. I love Blink 182, but I loved seeing Angels and Airwaves last year. I’m sorry, but I’m not seeing them on their solo tour (even though Weezer is opening. How in the hell is it that Weezer has to open for Blink 182? No offense to other Blink 182 fans, but you can’t make me understand that one).
And then there are bands I wish I’d have known last year that I missed: that Japanese female ska band (omg! how could I miss something like that! I listen to some J-pop and J-rock, I like ska. Ah! I’m such a loser!), Anberlin, Cobra Starship, Jack’s Mannequin, The Briggs (goddamnit! how could I miss the Briggs? I flipping love the Briggs! Mad Men is one of the greatest songs. Who can resist singing along to that? No ONE! I defy you to hear that song and not sing along), Mayday Parade.
Keeping up with indie bands takes work! Luckily, I’ve started picking up Alternative Press to help me out. I really like that mag. I felt a little strange reading it today, while I was sitting in the waiting room at the pediatrician, with my teenager and my other two kids. Oh well, everyone can kiss my butt.
Later, I have to finish reading my AP!
I was flipping through the local grocery store ad this morning and found the worst product grouping ever.
There was a little box that said $1 off and in the box were these products in this order:
- K-Y (personal lubricant)
- EPT (pregnancy test)
- Monistat (yeast infection treatment)
Nothing puts me in the mood more than remembering the horrors of pregnancy or the idea of having a yeast infection. Oh baby, I’m feeling all tingly right now.
If I were in marketing at the McNeil company (the makers of KY personal lubricants), I’d be pissed! Do people even think?
What horrible advertising.
I don’t know if every city does this, but every once in a while (I don’t know the interval. yearly? every other year?) my city produces a little community magazine. I received mine in the mail last week and just looked at it today.
I didn’t actually read any of it, I glanced at the titles and skimmed over it to see if I’d find anything useful before I recycle this.
Well, I didn’t find anything useful, but I did find this:
actual article from North Olmsted magazine
Seriously, I scanned the headline, was about to turn the page, and then I saw the zucchini. Why didn’t they just put a picture of penises?
Come on, at least change the title. Why does it matter that the president is male? Did women ban the club from working with all phallic shaped fruits and vegetables? WTF?
Tomorrow is supposed to be my son’s first concert. We’re going to Blossom to see Paramore and No Doubt. Unfortunately, he is coming down with something. He has a fever of 102 right now. I’m not even sure that I will go to work tomorrow, I might be home with him.
He’s so pathetic when he’s sick. He’s barely eaten all day. We had spaghetti with meatballs for dinner and he didn’t even eat his meatball. He lives for meatballs.
My poor little man. I hope he gets better and not just because I want to take him to the show. I hate when my kids are sick.
Why do pet food manufacturers use flavors like beef and venison for cat food? When is a cat ever really going to catch, kill, and consume a cow or a deer?
Here are my (and my husband’s) suggestions for realistic cat food flavors:
- Chipmunk chunk – real chipmunk, fur still attached
- Squirrel stew – real squirrel with bits of grass and dirt because that’s what a cat stew would be like, there would be NO vegetables involved (because vegetables are for people stew)
- Vole with gravy – the addition of gravy is to cater to the insane pet owners who think that their pets should eat like them
- Bird Blend – various types of birds, assortment varies by region – Cleveland area blend would include Robins, Sparrows, Cardinals, Blue Jays, and an occasional old Crow
- Snake and eggs – garter snake and robin eggs (shell included), the breakfast of champions
Honestly, I love how the cat food commercials all talk about being natural and about a cat’s nutritional needs. Then the foods are all made to look like people foods, and are made in people food flavors. No cat ever diced and cooked up carrots and potatoes. My cat won’t even eat carrots and potatoes. No cat cares is the food out of the can is in perfect little shaved pieces, or uniformly ground. People care about that when they eat.
My cat will eat the scrambled egg I threw on the floor for her. Presentation is not an issue with her.
So the next time I see a cat food commerical talking about what cats want and need, I want to see foods that cats could realistically catch and would realistically have the opportunity to eat in the wild.
